headers: Support default header values in Caddyfile with '?' (#3807)

* implement default values for header directive

closes #3804

* remove `set_default` header op and rely on "require" handler instead

This has the following advantages over the previous attempt:

- It does not introduce a new operation for headers, but rather nicely
  extends over an existing feature in the header handler.
- It removes the need to specify the header as "deferred" because it is
  already implicitely deferred by the use of the require handler. This
  should be less confusing to the user.

* add integration test for header directive in caddyfile

* bubble up errors when parsing caddyfile header directive

* don't export unnecessarily and don't canonicalize headers unnecessarily

* fix response headers not passed in blocks

* caddyfile: fix clash when using default header in block

Each header is now set in a separate handler so that it doesn't clash
with other headers set/added/deleted in the same block.

* caddyhttp: New idle_timeout default of 5m

* reverseproxy: fix random hangs on http/2 requests with server push (#3875)

see https://github.com/golang/go/issues/42534

* Refactor and cleanup with improvements

* More specific link

Co-authored-by: Matthew Holt <mholt@users.noreply.github.com>
Co-authored-by: Денис Телюх <telyukh.denis@gmail.com>

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